Monogamy and the Internet Generation


The internet has become a powerful tool in good and bad ways for relationships.

On the plus side, there is no limit to the exploration of possibilities for education and eroticism in stories and in images still and streaming. The down side is that for many couples, a partner will use of the internet to move away from the primary relationship.

If you are going to the internet to get something you feel you can’t get in your relationship, you are on a slippery slope. I’m all for alone time and the value of self pleasuring, which may or may not include external erotic images or even internet “connections”.  The question becomes, can I enjoy my personal time AND my partner. If you begin to have difficulty feeling desire for your partner, or have problems with arousal, if you get bored and have difficulties reaching orgasm, these are all signs that your self pleasuring is getting in the way of your ability to feel and receive pleasure from your partner.  Going cold turkey for a month will give you your own personal litmus test.  A month of refraining from sexual stimulation that doesn’t include your partner will definitely give you a sense of how your responsiveness and receptivity can bounce back.

If using the internet helps you move toward your partner, then it’s a great tool. If it becomes an escape, or preferred partner to your partner, then it makes sense to see what is happening.

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