I’m inviting you to notice today, what are the moments that speak to you in a way that your natural response is to smile, say ahhh……
In any day, there of course will likely be frustrations, disappointments, that of course are obvious and our minds/brain of course wants to dwell on them. This is the protective part of our biology that focuses on the negative because this after all is what we NEED to attend to, with our full attention to be safe. We are mammals after all. The thing is, there are no more saber tooth tigers out there and our brain doesn’t know the difference! Bad, feels bad and we are wired to notice for safety.
We also know that just as we are WIRED (biologically) to notice the negative, bad thing that happens or has happened to us, there are also good things happening and also true in our experience, often many GOOD things. I’m inviting you to notice, not the obvious bad thing that may come up or be happening in the moment but all of the wonderful things that are also true of your life, your experience and simultaneously are true in the current moment.
John Gottman, a well-known researcher who has developed an evidence-based approach to couples therapy has defined a “5 to 1 one rule”. This rule states that for every negative thing you or your partner does/says in the relationship, you should do 5 positive things to counteract the impact of the one negative. It’s not even necessarily that you or your partner “do” 5 positive things as much as you recall/remember 5 positive things about the other and how they are there for and choose you.
I’m inviting you today to take notice and savor the positive moments that are happening or have happened. Savoring them and bringing them into your awareness in the present moment is a gift to be enjoyed and one you can give yourself everyday.
Let me know what you notice and think when you choose to focus on the positive versus the negative. Do you notice the shift in your experience and feelings?