I’ve been married 11 years and I can tell you first hand, not to mention have heard first hand in 15 years of practice that not all sex looks or feels the same. We all have greater and lesser moments, more intense, longer or less and shorter orgasms, and sometimes no orgasm at all. That said, I also find the way we think about sex, anticipate sex is one of the greatest contributors to the kind of sex we have.
The picture I have of sex and want, is not “Good Enough”, it looks and feels “Great”.
I invite you to think the same and note what difference does that mindset shift make in your experience.
It’s also true that many of us (myself included) can have quite a harsh inner critic. If our idea of “Good Enough” is pretty off the charts, than, it also makes sense that making room for “Good Enough” when the desire is for things to be “Great”, dare I say perfect (and I don’t really believe there is any such thing) than, we’d actually be disturbing ourselves in the pursuit of “Great”. We all need to be acquainted with our own minds well enough to know which word “Great” or “Good Enough” will actually allow ourselves to relax in positive anticipation. Relaxation after all is the foundation of all arousal.
Let me know what you think and which way of thinking about sex “Great” or “Good Enough” works better for you!