Everyone knows that I’m all about helping others experience their own version of a great life with great sex.
I’m not going to lie, it’s possible and it takes work. Truth be told, work isn’t a dirty word anymore than sex is. When we put effort into something, we see the results. I invest in my marriage and my sex life on a regular basis and I’m proud to say the work pays off in pleasure.
My monthly pleasure pick is influenced by my own personal experience—and reviews by my clients. We’ll include what’s hot and trending, as well as good old tried and true staples that could make great additions to your pleasure toolbox.
Check here each month for my latest recommendations and listen as I share the details about these picks on the GirlBoner Podcast.
August Pleasure Pick
Last longer in bed.
Whether you want to last longer in bed — or maybe you are hoping your partner can last longer in bed — you are not alone. Among sexual concerns, premature ejaculation (or simply not being able to last as long as you’d like) is both common and frustrating. The good news is, this month’s Pleasure Picks are for you.
As I always say, there is no gold standard, you and your partner or partners are your own experts about what feels good and the kind of sexual experiences you want to have. Too often I find our culture idealizes not only penetrative sex as optimal but also even simultaneous orgasms. All I can say, having been married and practicing as a sex therapist for over 20 years is expectations most definitely get in the way. Too often when your partner is challenged to last longer, they are experiencing both performance demands and performance anxiety. In fact, they soooo want to give you pleasure that they are getting in their own way because as we know, the foundation of arousal is relaxation.
Premature ejaculation, technically defined by medical professionals as less then two minute IVLT, intra vaginal latency time, seriously not a sexy acronym, is common, the most common of sexual dysfunctions. In fact, 30-40% of penis owners will experience PE at some point in their lives. The key here is, not to panic; there are a number of options to address anxiety and learn the premonitory sensations to develop ejaculatory control.
This month, I’m highlighting two of my favorite resources for helping you — or your partner — last longer in bed:
1) The book, She Comes First by Ian Kerner, which starts with the author’s story of experiencing PE and what he’s learned about lasting longer while teaching the skills and tools, orally and manually to consistently and reliably give your partner pleasure. This book is a NYT bestseller that I highly recommend.
The greatest thing about promescent is it’s not only for those who experience PE, it can also be helpful for those who want to last longer to close the orgasm gap. As we know, men typically orgasm in 5 minutes while a vulva owner typically needs 3 times that amount of foreplay/stimulation to reach orgasm. Promescent helps bridge that gap.
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Until next month, here’s to your pleasure.
And remember to check back each month for my latest Pleasure Picks!